Harmony Farms KS and Electricity

Electricity


I don’t know what it is about electricity and its relationship with Harmony Farms KS. I personally have absolutely no desire to interact with electricity on a personal level and yet I have had electric current course through my body on numerous occasions. Just the other day I went to plug in the battery charger only to find out that mice at eaten through the insulation on the wiring in precisely the location I had placed my hand. Thus, upon plugging the battery charger in to the outlet I was given the thrill of having 110 volts coursing through me. I was so exhilarated by the experience that I spent the next 10 minutes holding my hand in my crotch while simultaneously hopping from one foot to the other.


My father tells the story that my great uncle would take the spark plug wires on the engine of his car and attach them to his fingers. He would then have my father attempt to start the motor thus causing electrical current to course into each of his fingers. He would engage in this bizarre behavior in order to determine that all of the cylinders of the engine were receiving an appropriate level of electricity to the spark plug. If you are curious as to what this feels like and (yes I have accidentally done this on about three occasions) you can replicate it by going out to your car and attaching a spark plug wire to the end of your finger and having a friend attempt to start the car. I would advise you to lie down for this experiment.


One day when I was about 14 my father, grandfather and I were working on our combine.  I went to turn the air on our air compressor in order to blow out the filters. Now this was a compressor that my Grandfather had purchased in the 1940’s. It was a 220 volt compressor that my Grandfather had wired up himself. When I grabbed the brass knob it sent 220 volts of electricity coursing through my body. Naturally I decided to grab the knob again. Sure enough I was able to temporarily levitate about a foot off of the ground. While levitating was cool (for you scholars that are using Harmony Farms KS as part of your thesis studies on aberrant behavior I will add a footnote referencing other times levitation occurred, See “Stepping on the Rattlesnake”) I quickly determined that it was not worth the amount of smoke emanating from my scalp, so I let go. After I returned to the ground I turned to my father and said, “Dad, the air compressor is shocking me.” (If you have decided to make Harmony Farms KS your farm you will have no doubt noticed that there is a pattern of behavior that adults tend to engage in when children make claims of equipment malfunction or failure) “No it’s not” my father said to me, “try it again.” “I already did,” I replied (See! I was thinking ahead). My father got a disgusted look on his face and walked over. “I will show you.” he said as he grabbed the knob. (While my exact memory is a bit fuzzy, I am fairly certain that my father was only able to levitate to a height of 3 to 4 inches off the ground and was only able to sustain it for 1 to 2 seconds and so I will not include it in my references on levitation as it does not meet the minimum threshold of 1 foot and 6 seconds.) My father stood for a moment and stared at the compressor. He then grabbed the knob again. Yes he did.  (This time he clearly did not meet the levitation standard but only because he had grabbed a hold of the anvil to anchor himself down) Without acknowledging me in any way my father turned to my grandfather and said, “Pop, the air compressor has a short in it.” “No it doesn’t my grandfather replied from inside the back of the combine.” (My grandfather spent a lot of time in the back end of a combine.) “Yea it does.” my father yelled back. My grandfather backed himself out of the combine and walked over. “It shocks you when go try to open the valve.” my father said. “It’s just your imagination,” my grandfather responded, “You just think it’s shocking you.” (I briefly considered the concept of mass hysteria infecting the Harmony Farms family but smoke was still curling off my scalp so I rejected the notion) My Grandfather’s personality was such that he firmly believed in the concept of mind over matter. Once he had the decision made in his mind he felt as though he could make it so through sheer will. He grabbed a hold of the brass valve and immediately began to vibrate. He let go of the valve. He stood for a moment looking at the compressor. He then grabbed the valve with two hands determined to hold on.


Now….I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that there is no way 3 people could possibly be subject to 220 volts of electricity coursing through their bodies on no less than 6 different episodes with no noticeable adverse effects. The only logical explanation is that the author, that being me, has made this story up. Sadly this is not a made up story. This fact is made even sadder in that only one out of the 6 applications of electrical current to the human body was accidental. The other 5 were entirely voluntary. I have two responses to this. First, I have never claimed that we did not suffer any ill effects. (See my “The physiological and psychological effects of intermittent exposure to electrical shock at Harmony Farms KS including but not limited to: “a continual expression of overwhelming surprise, combined with sudden outbursts of “What’s that?”, etc….) Second, I believe that we are channelers of electricity. You see there are people who claim to channel the spirits, those who claim to channel animal communication, and those who channel electricity--that is us. I once wired a chandelier using live wires while standing at the top of a 16 foot aluminum extension ladder while holding the chandelier in one hand. That said, my appearance and sudden outbursts do seem to cause some level of consternation when I am attending weddings or funerals. Luckily for me I am rarely invited to such events any more. I am not sure why. My brother’s channeling ability is so acute that he actually able to impact the performance of electrical devices simply by what he calls “the laying of hands” meaning he grabs the object and suddenly it begins to work (or stops working). It goes like this. “Kent, the toaster oven isn’t working.” “Let me see it.” he says. He holds it in his hands and suddenly it’s toasting like crazy. But I digress, back to Grandfather Brown.


So Granddad grabs the air compressor with both hands. I thought for just a moment he was going to hug the compressor. Initially it looked as though he would set a new levitation record but instead he began to vibrate in an arc around the compressor with his feet bouncing along the ground. After about 6 seconds he finally lets go. “Hmmm.” he says. “There must be a short in the wiring, when you turn it on don’t touch it with your hands.” With that he rummages around in the shed until he comes up with a piece of old inner tube. “Use This.” and with that he crawled back into the combine. Remember, make our farm, your farm at Harmony Farms KS.